Actual E-mail
This is an actual e-mail I got at webmaster@nopirates.com. I guess it makes sense because we are the leading experts in all types of werewolves:
Hey,
I wanted to contact you because i want to know if you really know anything about werewolves? If you are asking yourself the same thing about me, then maybe i should tell a little about myself then. I am a werewolf myself and that may seem a bit odd and you might think that i am suffering from Lycanthropy, which means a psychiatric state in which the patient believes he is a wolf or some other nonhuman animal. but i dont suffer from this at all. i have the, what people today in this world would call, "symptoms" of being one. 1. I have increase in strength during a full moon. 2. I really like to run a lot in my human form. 3. I have a very keen eye for a human. 4. I eat a lot and manage to stay fit. I also want to state that i get very aggrivated when people "POSE" werewolves and make fake pictures exclaiming they saw a werewolf. Although that pic really looked convincing to me i am still not sure about that being a werewolf. there was one fault to that picture that i think brought it out to being fake, it was in broad daylight. I think it may be possible for a full moon to be in broad day light , but i am still not sure about that. Please write back as soon as possible,
Yours truly, ยง
(Randy S)
Be sure to check out the comments to see our e-mail chain
6 Comments:
nice letter. did you respond?
Here is what I wrote back:
Randy-
So, you want to know about werewolves, huh? As the upper midwest's leading expert in the subject, I would be happy to help you out. Please fill out this short questionare so I can help you more:
1. How long have you been a werewolf?
2. When was the last time you had werewolf-like symptoms?
3. Was your mother or father a werewolf?
4. Have you ever killed anybody?
5. How old are you?
6. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
7. What part of the country are you from (South, Midwest, etc)?
8. Are you currently taking any medications?
9. Do you have a family? Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Husband/Wife? Kids?
0. What is your favorite song?
And then he wrote back with this:
1. honestly i have no idea just how long i have been a werewolf, but I somehow have a gut instinct saying that i am one.
2. the last full moon.
3. possibly, since i might have been reincarnated anything is possible.
4. in my other life i might have.
5. old enough
6. i don't drink as of yet
7. south
8. no
9. i have family
0. a song that i have made myself, it's called my transformation.
And then I didn't write anything for a couple days and got this back from him:
hey,
its me again, i have been waiting for a while for you to reply, and quite frankly i doubt you know what the power of the werewolf can do. the pictures that you posted were fake, which i can so prove. and i am very disgraced to recognize you as a werewolf fanatic.if you wish to further contact me, please send email via asap.
Then I wrote this:
I do not appreciate threats (you said, "i doubt you know what the power of the werewolf can do"). You don't seem to realize that the power of a werewolf is nothing compared to the power of a true ninja. While you are foaming at the mouth during the next full moon, I will still be in complete control of my actions and thoughts, lurking in the shadows, ready to attack.
To prove you are a werewolf, you must send me an .mp3 of the song you wrote, unless you are lying about that too.
Then he wrote back with this:
Threats? To honestly tell you this, the word "Werewolf" actually means to change at will. Most movies do not portray this in it. Also, I may not know the "true" power of the ninja, but I do know a lot about ninja's and they are a deadly force if pushed to it, that i will admit. Another thing, how in the name of Vlad, does music has to deal with what I am? Also another thing, I do not send "songs" that I make, to strangers that i do not know, due to certain precautions. You said unless I was lying about that too? What was the first thing that I was supposedly lying about? Being a werewolf? I could say the same thing back at you about being a ninja. To be a true ninja, you must have years of practice and discipline to even be recognized as a "true ninja". I hope not to insult you, but I really think you are a boy or girl who has a really creative mind and is considered as what "most" computer people call n00bs. You can call me the same thing, for they are only words, that are made of letters. It doesn't matter what you or other people have to say, in the end it's rather pointless. There are a lot more about me that you could not think of at all, being a werewolf is just one characteristic that i carry in my blood.
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